With true enjoyment the object and the ‘I’ disappear

Advaita Post Volume 9, Number 3

The February retreat on Schiermonnikoog

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Text Satsang

A talk with Douwe Tiemersma in Gouda on January 17, 2007

The inside-out

Dowe: When you have relocated yourself to within, there is a release, an opening.

First you have the feeling that you are sitting trapped in the shape of your body and that the body is in space. When you have truly gone within, the structure turns inside out, literally! Your being-self then seems to be outside as universal space.

See the tea pot with the inside on the outside [now in the showcase in the upper room]. The tea, which was first in the tea pot, is now outside. The tea is universal. So you are universal.

Then there isn’t a teapot any longer.

Perhaps it takes a bit of time for a form to turn inside-out, but then it quickly dissolves. You see the body, the earth, the universe revert, shrink and fall into the large space of yourself. So everything that still is, you are that too. Your own inner space, which is Self-Being, is literally universal.

You are even this space as Consciousness. Within it there is no longer any  concentrated attention on a particular object. The consciousness has completely opened. It doesn’t have a center anymore. There is no longer the structure, “I see this and I am aware of that.” The starting and end point, the origin of consciousness of an object and the object focused upon do not exist anymore. They have come together and are connected to one another in infinity.

Visitor: Then it does not matter anymore where you are positioned.

Then there is no localization of yourself anymore. There is a totally open sensitive  awareness.

But there is still a form acting at certain times?

To the extent that forms exist, forms are. You are the self of all those forms and you are much more.

You often say: … As long as there is still life or the world … Is it true that the forms cease to exist?

When you remain aware you see that all forms have a beginning and then disappear. As long as forms exist, they are not different from yourself. When they disappear, then they are not there anymore.

And if someone dies?

Then that form has gone. As long as the living form is there, there is life and when life departs, then the form falls away.  It is as simple as that.

When the form has surrendered itself, you are just the space.

You are always the space.

It has nothing to do with whether you are now positioned in an “I” or not …

When you no longer identify yourself with a form, you are no longer trapped in that form. But as long as form still continues, then it continues. Whatever happens, happens.

Some think that when enlightenment occurs, all life will disappear. But the form will continue as long as it continues. At a given moment it dissolves.

Then I quickly experience that ananda, that bliss. But it still feels like a kind of longing.

For the fulfilling of it you will need to turn further inwards, before the bliss. If you stop too soon, the desire for wholeness still persists.

You said earlier something about the cosmic orgasm. That stems from desire expanding towards total unity.

It is also a turning inwards towards depth and a complete surrender. In sexuality there is also a return to your origin and a release in universal unity.

So, you can view it at all the different chakra levels. At the level of the belly? Consider, as you sit to eat something delicious. You see something tasty on your spoon, an object; you salivate, you take a bite and it tastes good. Once you have swallowed, you have already assimilated it, that is: integrated it into yourself. If you really enjoy it 100% – mmmmmmmm so nice – you take it fully into your center. If that intake of food is fully enjoyed, with a total release into it, you are enlightened in a bite. By going within, it turns inside-out.

But have you noticed that you do not fully enjoy you food, because as you have something in your mouth, you are looking for the next bite. You work so quickly to bring everything in and then look: what else is there?

Notice that on the one hand, the items go inside and disappear. Every object, every picture, every desire is gone. When you really can enjoy 100%, totally immerse in it, every orientation towards something else falls away. What at first was outside, has gone in and that means, when it is good, the fulfilling of all wants, of every desire.

When you breathe in a conscious way, when you inhale fully, then after inhaling nothing more is needed.

People who want to quit smoking, should enjoy one cigarette so much that it would be enough for ever.

If a desire rises again it seems that the movement to go within and to fully integrate was not complete.

There can be a complete fulfillment with total surrender. Then there is happiness.

If it is not total and not consciously recognized, the old structure restores easily ressurects itself, which means that everything falls back together again. Then you are back in a body and again your desires will be focused on all kinds of beautiful things.

If you take one bite which you fully enjoy and are completely immersed it, basically, there is no next bite. It means a return and an opening. Then there is no more center and the whole structure ‘I am eating’ is gone.

In a fast after a few days you are not hungry anymore. But this is a physiological thing. It may trim off a few extra pounds, but the structure of your being does not change and after the fast your interest in eating again is as strong as ever.

Everything must become open consciously.

You are in a beautiful landscape and take a big bite of that brown bread with cheese: ready!

With true enjoyment the object and I fall away. There is a unity of your ‘I’ and what you enjoy.  Then, time falls away. There is only one open sphere of being, about which nothing more can be be said. The final thing you can say is: “infinite enjoyment.” This open sphere and conscious enjoyment is a recognition of what has always been.

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