So you can remain open on all levels of being-awareness – in silence.

Advaita Post, Volume 10 No 8

Spring (Part 3)
You affirm: it is the one life that awakens.

Text

Introduction and talk in Gouda, September 3, 2008

Inexpressible Silence (1)

Douwe: While it’s so quiet, it’s good for you to become internally aware of the depth of that silence. Ask yourself: how deeply do I go along into that silence, how deep is my silence? When you remain alert you experience the layers of silence in the depths. Shall I name a few of them?

The first layer is when you as a person simply relax and there is a wonderful silence that you enjoy. “I experience silence and it’s good.”  There is a silence which is experienced as a person.

In the next phase there is more turning within.  You are internally absorbed into a spacious sphere of calm and the relaxation continues. Then it feels even better. You are still present as an ‘I’-person in that quiet space, but there is much less separation between yourself and that silence. You no longer listen to an external silence, but your own sphere has merged to some extent with the realm of silence: you are present in the great silence.

The silence-quality and the merging can become even stronger.

If I were to ask you: “Do you have any questions?”, when the silence is deep enough it’s a strange question. Then you certainly notice that a reaction arises, but it doesn’t need to be expressed. The reaction is an increased awareness of the silence and what it would take to break it up: “In my open sphere I would have to stir everything up and reassemble it in order to give myself a form; I would have to pull up the whole speech mechanism, I would have to find language; all that is not available here and it would be an awful lot of trouble.” So there can still be a notion of an ‘I’ somewhere, of “Oh yes, I must answer” and “I must have something to think about”. But, even when there is an ‘I am’, when a question comes, ‘I’ have nothing to say. Why not? Because the world of ‘I think’ and ‘I have’ is not there, or is somewhere else, far away. There is only the silence of “I am blank silence.”

As the silence becomes even deeper, there is absolutely no structure any longer that can give a response. Maybe somewhere in the distance there is still a knowledge, “Oh yes, I will be able to come out of this meditative level, but then I will really need to go to a realm in which the ‘I’-person is re-formed, in which I can think once again and where  if I dig up the language for it problems can be formulated.” Then, if you give into it, there is a seed that germinates in the silence.

As the process of deepening continues, there is absolutely nothing that remains: there is only silence.

Maybe you can recognize the different levels. They arise in every meditation that deepens. In the deepest phase the seer is ‘in himself’.  You notice it in others that you see who have sunken into samadhi and have departed from the world. This deep silence can also be there with open eyes when the clarity is strong enough. That depth can continue by means of the clarity about your own unity with that deep silence, so that it actually remains open, that quiet realm within which the structures of language and the mechanism of speech, of thinking and of an ‘I’-person no longer exist. Then you can remain open on all levels of being-awareness in Silence.

Now, that’s it.

So stay internally lucid so that the process of becoming still continues by itself. Then you recognize the different levels so you can know how deep your stillness goes. You have knowledge of the very deep silence, as you exclusively sink into the deep layers without any structures of the ‘I’-person, of language or of speech. You know, as you remain aware on all levels with your eyes open, that they all exist simultaneously. Then there is an openness on all levels. You confirm that the infinite blank sphere remains as primary. Everything else is surely allowed to be, but the infinite blank sphere remains in the foreground. That is your own sphere, in which you are at home.

As long as something happens, it happens automatically. Speech may come, but then the speech no longer comes from an ‘I’-person. The phenomena can return, but then they happen by themselves. The ‘I’-person doesn’t have to return. The world and living go on by themselves, as long as they continue. Ordinary sitting continues, the tone of your muscles is apparently sufficient. Digestion continues, the heart beat continues, breathing continues, speech continues naturally, movements come and go by themselves. In the great space, they are short-term phenomena; afterwards they’re gone once again.

Remain clear in the original sphere. All kinds of names and forms can arise within it, but they don’t destroy the blank sphere; they are a part of it until they disappear once again. The Silence is the origin of everything, the ongoing basis of everything which appears. The realization of that means being free and leaving everything and everyone else to be, in freedom, in an inexpressible unity.

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