It’s a different kind of knowing: it’s the internal affirmation of your own origin.

Advaita Post, Volume 10, Nr 18

White and blue

The November air is open

and shines with a glistening low

white sun and very still blue.

The open sea basks in low sun

and radiates upward

glistening white and very still blue.

Silent white and blue radiates in

silent white and blue.

Three swans glide forth

silent white in blue.

Joy radiates open:

self-being, the low sun

glistening white and very still blue.

****

Text Satsang

From a talk in Gouda May 27, 2009 Part 2: Confirmation is not thinking

Visitor: The confirmation of the openness is important, but isn’t this confirmation just an idea?

Douwe: You imagine this from an old pattern: when I affirm anything “this is so and that is so” then it’s a judgement from a personal viewpoint, on the level of  “I think”. Descartes went along with that: “I think therefore I am”. But if you go just a little bit deeper in your consciousness, you see that the real confirmation has already occurred much earlier, without thinking. You affirm something: oh, so that’s it, and afterwards there’s the thought. When you’re alert, you see that thought always comes afterwards. It’s always too late, but still it’s considered to be the most important. Even though there are thought structures, people see it as the whole truth. That’s just rationalization. But previous to that there is something already affirmed that you can become aware of: oh, so that’s it.

The affirmation is direct. It’s a reflection without any means of the phenomena that arise. The structure and nature of the situation then is immediately obvious. We call this insight. On the level of insight many personal patterns have already disappeared. The self-being then is more of a witness-consciousness and has a greater clarity.

Of course on the mental level there can still be an elaboration of the affirmation using language, but it’s always inadequate and distorting of the direct affirmation. Take a look at aspects of your own self-being. With the confirmation of the blank state it’s very clear. When it’s there, and then later you experience yourself once again as a physical person, that blank state is “nothing”. The events and the blank state are situated on one timeline. Then thought says: “I just had a blackout, there was nothing.” But if you are aware in the blank state, then everything revolves around that. Then you confirm: there is always the blank state and it has nothing to do with time. Within it, the various limited situations of self-being arise. Take a look at your youth as you grew up and your “I think” continually changed. The construction of the world from the “I think” is so very relative.

Becoming aware in the blank state is clarity on a very pure level of insight (buddhi), which is to say, that then the personal conditionings disappear almost entirely. You shouldn’t confuse this with becoming silent on the I-level, because you experience that if you doze off or go to sleep. No, there must be a great inner clarity if you want to experience that blank state from the inside out and avoid the return of the old situation. No, it’s the clarity that precedes both activity and drowsiness.

Therefore the inner knowledge of the blank state is very different than the knowledge of an external situation. It is a knowing that exists very deep in your own self-being. You are yourself there and you confirm that within it there are no forms, only being-awareness. From the internal clarity there is the affirmation: that’s it. People say they don’t know what the dreamless sleep is, because they can’t come to it. No, it’s not possible to come to it in a dualistic manner. From an “I want” you go searching for an object-situation with forms. The point is that this is not about going towards such a situation and towards forms. It’s exactly these forms that are completely gone. So it’s a different kind of knowing: it is the internal affirmation of your own origin. So it’s not a knowledge of something else, of something. This kind of knowledge has no specific type of object-content. It’s really about a being-knowledge, in which your consciousness and the being of which you are aware, merge together in a knowing-being or a being-consciousness.

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