Because you are everything there is no ‘person’ that can fall into an abyss.

Volume 12 No. 8

The world and the forms of me: pictures in pictures - they are me in me.

The world and the forms of me: pictures in pictures – they are me in me.

*

Longing and consciousness are infinite

When I saw that, I realized that I was really That,

and that there is no I-form and nothing is ‘other’.

*

Rumi

A lover knocked

At the door of his beloved.

“Who’s there?” Came the voice from within.

“It is I, let me in.”

“There is no place in this house

for you and me.”

Whatever the lover tried,

She would not let him in.

He withdrew to the desert

And fasted and prayed.

After a year

He returned to her.

Again he knocked on the door

“Who’s there?” Asked the voice.

“You, darling, it is you.”

Then she opened the door for him.

[From: Jacques Benoit, Lust of Love – Sufism, the mysticism of Islam, Ankh-Hermes, Deventer 1983]

*

Satsang Text

From a talk with Douwe Tiemersma, September 3, 2003, Advaita Center, Gouda

The Frightening Void

Visitor: I have an idea of self-realization that my ego dissolves and so I dissolve like a drop in the ocean and that, when my body dies, I will exist no longer, forever and ever. And I wonder: why would I want that?

Douwe: What a question. And you pose it based upon a particular idea.

Yes.

While you already know: that the concept is wrong. And also I say it differently.

Yes, but …

You cannot create a representation of it! Still you do it and say: should I want it? If you can’t create an image of it, then also the question remains unanswered. Then you return to your situation here and now.

At certain point you fall into the abyss and then it is too late. There is no turning back …

Again you are creating a concept from your restricted ‘I’. And then that concept is black, because this little ‘I’ knows that it will disappear. Then you say: still it doesn’t seem right to me. Therefore you’ll need to approach it from the other side. See where your ideas come from. Every idea about self-realization is wrong.

What I have also read is that you disappear and that the personal stops.

You read too much and you create too many ideas about it. Return to the situation here and now. The only thing you can do is affirm your own situation again and again. I’ve already pointed out all the possibilities of your identity. There are very limited and very expansive forms. First, you’ll have to see them for yourself very clearly. Secondly: which do you rate as positive and which as less positive.

Well, okay …

Now just go along with it. When you set your own different situations on a scale of expansive and constricted …

Then  the wider, lighter, warmer and more connected is preferable to the limited person.

When you affirm that so directly from your own experience, then you should stay there with it.

Don’t I ultimately fall into the trap, as it were?

Again, that’s another idea. You’re so afraid of the idea that it prevents you from staying in the here and now.

That’s also why I ask you, because I am really terrified of that void that in my perception or  imagination is a negative void.

This is an experience you have had from a limited ‘I’ form. You’ll have to let it go, because it has nothing to do with what this is about. So you affirm right here and now that there is a beautiful, big space in which more and more fixed forms fall away, that there is more and more light, more warmth, more space, connectedness, unity. Can you stay with that now?

But all those books still go on about a death of the ego, a death of yourself.

I said: you read way too much and you create a particular idea of it that makes no sense. You can use these words such as death, but see from where they come. You’re immediately going to give it form from your limited ‘I’: “then I will fall into the void and I really don’t like that”. It is actually dangerous to read things, just because you’re creating certain ideas in which you tend to get stuck.

So as you now return to yourself and say: “I will take on nothing else, also not even when I read a book or when I hear something; I will take nothing on from others other than what I can affirm for myself.” Then you have reached a point where you’re independent. “I will stay here and see things in a clear manner. Now there is more space and that’s positive. I confirm that for myself. Just let it continue like this.” Then you are always with yourself there. Yes, it seems that you receive less and less forms. But through this you become more and more yourself and you see a growing unity with everything. That is a very positive experience. You come more and more into your true nature. Just keep affirming: now, now, now, now, now. Less and less forms of yourself arise. You become steadily more expansive. As you become more expansive – it just happens – you’ll see at some point that you are everything.

And when you no longer have a form, what then?

You are everything. Because you are everything, there is no longer a situation of an ‘I’ person who falls into an abyss.

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