Advaita Post Vol 19, #09
From a talk with Douwe Tiemersma, in Gouda, March 4, 1981
From: Yoga and Vedanta 23 No. 2 (June 1981), 68-70
(After a silence)
DT: In general, it’s important to begin with a silence. When it’s good, there’s a reversal from the everyday situation. Through that [situation] you are turned outward, you are focused on all kinds of things that you find important, that others find important. There’s always a focus from the inside-out. From the center [of yourself] all kinds of lines with hooks are thrown out into the world. That’s how you get stuck.
But more happens in the movement from the internal to the external. The movement, the focus, itself creates the world. Through this you create a world that is thought and experienced as real. You undergo then all kinds of influences that return from that world back to the center [of yourself]. In the first instance you create the world to which you are attached, in the second you think that a real world influences you. When you sit quietly you can easily become aware of this whole situation, this whole process; aware of the world and of yourself in the world: aware of your visual sense and the corresponding visible world, aware of your auditory sense and the corresponding world of sounds, and so on. Above all, be aware of yourself as the center of all those rays that go into the world and return to you from the world. That center is the ego, the place where all lines intersect. Be aware of that. The whole world then, the body and the ego appear in consciousness. That [consciousness] is a very important starting point for further progress: that there is no longer an objective, projected world, but that everything is seen in the space of consciousness, that you, yourself, are. Then you can realize that you are the one who is aware of all that, that you are unlimited consciousness. You ask yourself, “What am I, now that I have completely withdrawn myself?”. You are no longer the little ‘I’ as a crossroads of relationships, because you can see it all happening. You see how everything happens, physically, emotionally, mentally. You can tell a story about it. If you were not able to be aware of it, you could not do it. When you can tell a story about it, it’s something objective, and when it is something objective, it is not you. Then you can change the packaging. You can call someone else over and say, “Take a look at that. Just see what’s going on over there.”
Actually, this situation is very common. When you hold other people accountable for their actions, it also means that they could have done something differently, that they could have broken through old habits. How can you do that? When there’s freedom with regard to one’s own behavior, from what normally happens. Outside of very special cases, one is supposed to choose one’s behavior when it’s necessary to change it. Although that often does not happen in so detached a way, there is still a lot of freedom of choice. You are not [fully] absorbed in life, in the world. You can see the body functioning and [yourself] using it as an instrument; then you become aware of yourself as freedom. The former is readily found in Western thinking; the latter hardly or not at all. You are yourself as consciousness. Really realize that. Then you have shifted your center of gravity from the place right behind your eyes, as the intersection of your relationships with the world, diving into the body to do all kinds of things, to receding backwards, inwards, or however you want to refer to it, free from that limited area.
From the world where everything is done, perceived and thought, the world of tensions and orientations, to freedom. It also includes the limited world, but in the first place there is distance, the letting go. Then you will see everything in consciousness, in the I-am. Only then are you yourself, in which everything happens: aware self-being.
Do you see this, too?
Visitor: No, not yet. Shifting the center of gravity is very difficult for me.
DT: Actually, it does happen on occasion. When you look back in your memory.
Visitor: Yes, maybe, but still for me, it’s not clear. When you are sitting in peace and quiet, it works great, but when you are confronted with the world again, then all those old patterns come back.
DT: When you say: when I sit quietly it works great, still that means you recognize at least somewhat the meaning of the words.
Visitor: That’s right. I just can’t apply it.
DT: Surely now and then, at least somewhat, and then it should function more and more. In the first place you know what it’s all about. When you focus yourself on it again and again during the work day, during the week, it becomes more and more real. That’s the only way, that’s the meditation: that whole process of turning within, realizing yourself, letting the rest relax, letting it flow away, while remaining clear, aware, formless. That way you can see everything in consciousness. You have to practice it over and over again. Consistently breaking through the old orientations to the world, no longer seeing the world as large and objective, the world in which everything is so important; no longer in your arms and legs, trapped in your body. Oh, the world can be so large and come at you very forcefully. And the ego is so small. But just notice, [see] that you have inflated the world and made it that way. Then a whole lot of it disappears.
Visitor: Then a lot disappears, but for me there’s still the fear of threats, of violence.
DT: Everyone has to deal with that, sooner or later; even if it’s the ultimate, concrete death. It can come at you, life size. But just let that really come. Have the courage to let it happen. The becoming aware of that whole situation then is very easy. When the threat is unavoidable, you turn inwards [to yourself] and the separation of yourself and the ego which is being attacked arises. When you really accept the whole thing, the right impulse comes almost automatically. If the threat is truly unavoidable, then you must accept it. And when you remain lucid, you will be freed from it. The boundaries disappear and still there’s only consciousness, in which perhaps something happens. Sooner or later this situation will arise: either remain in the narrow boundaries with tremendous fears and tensions, or accept everything and be consciously free. That’s what it’s about and that can happen here and now. That’s the depth of yoga. As long as you stay stuck in the ego, the tensions remain. By fighting the danger on your own level, you strengthen it, it gets bigger and bigger. But see through it as a whole. You yourself create the enemy, just as [you have created] the ego. When you can let go of your ego it doesn’t really matter anymore what happens on the level of the body and the world. In freedom it appears that, as far as the world and the body go, everything “happens in the best way possible”. Difficulties resolve themselves. They are no longer inflated because the ego no longer clings to them. Everything that still has to happen, happens, relaxed. It seeks the easiest riverbed in which to flow away. The energies are still working themselves out, but without tensions. The process is no longer disrupted because the ‘I’ doesn’t interfere. Realize that, as being-awareness, you are unlimited.
Visitor: How should you deal with a seriously ill person? A friend of mine has severe cancer. She is completely in it and is experiencing a lot of pain. If I wanted to tell her this, I wouldn’t be able to get through to her. It wouldn’t be an adequate way to talk to her because she’s in such terrible pain.
DT: It doesn’t depend on her as much as it depends on you. Should you immediately try to relieve the suffering of the world? Yes, of course. But the most important thing here is to make your own situation as relaxed and clear as possible, so that the help goes automatically. When there are all kinds of things that are stuck in yourself, when you yourself are afraid of death, you find that you can’t help the other person very well. When you yourself are completely open, the words and actions that are most suitable at that moment will come naturally. So focus yourself primarily on your own openness, then everything that is needed will come. Others will notice this very clearly and that is what they benefit from the most. Let everything come naturally and don’t think about it.
thegroundlessopenness 